This week, Burger King, that novelty-burger-loving restaurant, revealed it’s newest limited-time offering: The Green Bay Whopper.
Limited only to the “Green Bay area”, this cardiologists delight has your normal Whopper toppings, (tomato, lettuce, onions, pickle) but with the Wisconsin themed addition of eight (EIGHT) slices of American cheese.
While reactions to such a creation may range from “Finally my dreams have come true” to “Oh god”, it’s hard to not have your hometown pride come into play as you ask: “Hey, why doesn’t OUR city have a Whopper?”
What would a Cleveland Whopper look like? It needs to reflect Cleveland, both our past and present. We’re not saying we have the solution, but here are some ideas.
The Polish Delight
Cleveland loves its Polish heritage. So let’s sub out the beef patty for a kielbasi sliced in half (which Burger King can brand as BKielbasi, you are welcome, BK’s marketing department), sour cream instead of mayo, and two big pirogi to be used for the bun.
Giving tribute to the food of Progressive Field, this Whopper is sold in hand-held slider form, for easier eating while watching the Cleveland Indians. These sliders have a hearty dollop of Bertman’s Ballpark mustard, and a sprinkle of Froot Loops from the Happy Dog stand.
The Browns Burger has cheddar cheese, fried onion rings, and a handful of Cheetos as toppings. You are required to eat it outside, in the cold.
There are three amazing suggestions, Burger King! Figure it out! Get your best minds on this thing, and we will be in the drive-though, waiting for our big day.