That’s the sound that should be leaving your mouth as you gaze upon this, the offering from one of the most terrifying eBay listings we’ve ever seen.
No, it’s not the leftovers from a haunted house.
No, it’s not a screen-grab from a CSI episode, where they track down “The Showchoir Killer”.
No, it’s not the worst attempt to re-create the album cover from Sgt. Pepper.
It’s a collection of “phantoms”; busts of the human head created as training dummies for dental school students.
They were made in Germany, which is a very appropriate country for these to come from. It’s the country we can most picture saying: “Now when you make these dummies, make sure they also look like howling tormented souls from the realm of the dead.”
The phantoms, (which are available on eBay right now for the low, low price of $875 per head) are described as being as “robust and as realistic as a real patient”. What does THAT mean? They can withstand a lot of pain? That they CAN’T withstand a lot of pain, and will beg you for more ether? Why does one of them have yellow gums?
Either way, purchasing one of these soulless-eyed unfortunate beings will cause your loved ones to plead with you to not display it in your home! But when it’s the Halloween season, you can’t put the price on a good scare.